I have always been a badass.
Well, not on the outside. There, I’m more squishy snack than sculpted goddess. But inner resolve? That’s where my Warrior thrives. She has forever been my bedrock as I navigate this obstacle course called Life.
Our Warriors can get tripped up, though. We all encounter moments that call for us to slow down, recalibrate our energy and/or shift to a new perspective.
Naturally, many of the challenges in my own life came along when the kids were young. Most of those early years had me feeling like I was living close to the edge, not from my center. Yet for the most part I remained steady…ish.
I can recall one day, however, when the fragile equilibrium I worked so hard to establish was temporarily shattered.
One fine Saturday, when my son was nine and the girls were nine months, we somehow schlepped ourselves to the karate studio where Andy trained. Before leaving the house it was business as usual: I nursed the girls, gathered diapers, toys, snacks and supplies, made sure Andy’s karate gi was clean and pressed, packed his gear bag, loaded all the kids and the double stroller into the car, and zipped off to the dojo. How we made it on time is beyond me.
But we made it!
As Andy went into class, I clicked the car seats in place and hauled the stroller down the flight of stairs leading to the dojo. (I nicknamed that stroller “choo-choo train” because it was soooo long—not a side-by-side version. It was thoroughly cumbersome to use. They’re designed much better and are more compact today!)
Exhausted, I looked for a place to park the stroller and catch some rest. The next moments were unforgettable and distinctly pivotal for me.
A fellow mom, whose twins were in class with Andy, came toward me to gush over the girls. She cheerfully said, “Awww, I remember when they were that easy…”
We continued to chat but I don’t recall one word I said to her, because my inner being cried out, “You mean it gets HARDER?”
In those moments, my Spirit was crumbling a little. I felt that my boundaries were already stretched to their limits. Did I have the fortitude to endure what was ahead?
My BFF—my inner Warrior Goddess Queen—made sure of it.
Selective memory in motherhood is a real thing. I had been through toddlerhood with Andy and fully knew how active those years were, yet it hadn’t occurred to me how arduous the current road ahead might be.
That day, something shifted for me. It wasn’t obvious in my external world—no, that part of my life still resembled some sort of three-ring fiasco for years to come (lol). Still, there was a slightly perceptible change that came from deep within. A true sense of resolve that rooted securely into my core. Would I continue on? Yes. I KNEW. From that day on I strove to remain in presence.
I’m still striving, every day.
Crappy things happen and roads become rocky. Things sometimes fall apart. By remaining grounded—or returning to that stability as soon as possible during upheaval—we can continue to overcome and evolve, making the journey well worthwhile. Our inner Warriors make it so.
This week, the Soul Guidance Reading lays out a simple map for those times of turbulence (or, as in my case above, sudden realizations), ensuring our growth along the way.