Have you ever had a “Judgy McJudgerson” moment, when you find yourself putting others down? Pretty sure we all have, yes?
As my Soul evolves, I strive to practice non-judgment as often as possible. While much progress has been made in this area of my journey, I readily acknowledge my imperfect track record. Still, as I reflect back, I notice two prominent internal shifts:
• Those knee-jerk criticisms arise in my mind far less often than they once did.
• I’ve developed a knack for redirecting such thoughts when they do emerge.
Practice makes progress…
I haven’t always been (mostly) judgment-free, though. I can remember two notable moments in my life when my unbridled words were decisively challenged—by my preschooler son.
Andy was around three or four when both of these instances occurred. Both times, I was driving with Andy seated in the back.
The first occurrence was during a hurried drive. I don’t recall where we were headed, but I can still feel the palpable urgency as I made my way there. I was often running late back then…toddler mom vibes! Out of nowhere, a woman cut me off as I was approaching an intersection, causing me to come to a stop instead of barreling on through like I wanted to (thank you, Universe). Highly frustrated, I launched a few choice words her way (the windows were up—I’m not THAT aggressive haha). She wasn’t meant to hear me but naturally, Andy did.
I’ll never forget seeing his little face in my rearview mirror as he admonished me, “Momma! Don’t yell at her, she’s somebody’s mommy!”
This boy! He had a pure and compassionate heart. Still does.
In that moment—and it wasn’t the first or last time—he became my teacher. It might as well have been the Buddha himself sitting in Andy’s car seat. Without knowing the woman’s story—she could have been a new driver, late for an appointment, or upset about something—I simply decided she was bad and wrong.
Andy’s words lingered in the silence. I was speechless (a rarity) and felt humbled at just how RIGHT he was. I also felt a smidge guilty, but soon dropped it from my memory and moved on with life.
A few months later, because I didn’t retain the lesson the first time, we were driving and an elderly man cut me off, darting across three lanes! What!? I had to slam on the brakes as he cut across from my right, ultimately settling into the left turn lane. I lost my composure once again, yelling at this dude and feeling more than a little self-righteous.
Andy called out, “Momma! Don’t yell at him! He just made a mistake!”
“He should learn how to drive, then! He almost caused a crash!” I snapped back, digging a little deeper into the anger. (I’m RIGHT, dammit!)
Andy wasn’t buying it. With those “oh well” hands up, he calmly said, “Well, I guess you BOTH have lessons to learn.”
Whoa! Whaaat?! You know those moments in life, those really big and sudden ones where everything goes slow-mo and it’s like you’re in a dream? Yup. In a flash, I entered the Matrix that day, absorbing and incorporating these golden words of wisdom delivered by my almost four-year-old. My precious, wise, heart-centered child.
Lessons to learn, indeed.
That was the beginning of my “Release Your Judgy Thoughts” tour. LOL…I’m still on the road with that show. But by removing a big chunk of old judgmental energy, I’ve created a space within my Soul that can now be used for deepening connections—with myself and others.
This week’s Soul Guidance Reading brings us front and center with our disparaging thoughts as we explore ways to release them, restoring our integrity along the way. Have a listen, and enjoy!!