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How Conflict Leads To Soul Growth

By angela
April 3, 2024

I’ve never been one for feuds. Sure, I can hold my own in an argument—and I find it satisfying to reach resolution—but my love of peace and serenity runs deep. When friction comes calling, my inner being goes running for cover.

I once dated a guy who loved to argue. He’d often stir up a verbal battle out of nowhere. Early in our relationship, before I saw his patterning, I would buy into his game. He’d pop off with some weird comment or accusation and I would reflexively speak up in defense.

Big mistake. Conflict was like his personal fuel and once he was fired up he could cling to it for hours, days…or forever. I observed during our relationship how he held lifelong grudges over the most random, insignificant experiences.

One time he woke me up at 2am just to start an argument. Over nothing. It felt like I was unwillingly thrust into a virtual boxing ring so he could slap me around with his words.

He found this satisfying. You know those evil cartoon characters who sit back, rubbing their palms together as they revel over the catastrophe they’ve just caused?

I was dating that dude! Messy!

A few months back I was Zooming with a friend/colleague and our wires got crossed. Communication was cloudy that day and neither of us felt heard during our conversation. Tensions quickly escalated, and soon we were speaking over each other, getting nowhere close to mutual understanding or resolution. I felt physically uncomfortable.

In my younger years I would engage in discord more readily than I do now, mainly because I wanted the other person to see what I was seeing (and also that I was right😆). Over time, I’ve refined my squabbling skills to a point where conflict doesn’t remain in my energy for long, leaving space for others’ perspectives and minimizing the effect on my Soul.

During this meeting with my colleague, once I felt the physical effects of the clash (rapid breathing and squirming so much I wanted to crawl out of my skin), I responded by disconnecting the meeting. Click! Hanging up on her felt dramatic, but the palpable tension in my body made it clear that continuing the conversation wasn’t productive.

Like I said, when friction comes knocking, I don’t answer the door. Sometimes I slam it shut!

Reaching for realignment, we steered clear of one another for several days and once we reconnected we were able to clearly express our respective sides of the conversation. From a place of love. Ultimately, we chalked it up to miscommunication.

There was little to no damage to our relationship because we had each prioritized our personal vibration. In fact, we emerged from the experience with a stronger bond, having navigated the conflict with maturity and mutual respect.

Disagreement is an inevitable part of life. We see it in our personal relationships, with coworkers, in our communities and beyond. While such differences can be challenging and uncomfortable, they also present opportunities for Soul growth and transformation.

Discord is often heightened by projections—from ourselves or others. Such projections can manifest as assumptions and stereotypes. Do you notice this anywhere in your life, Dearest Dreamer?

Our past experiences, left unexamined, can color our perceptions and reactions. For instance, a disagreement with a coworker may trigger memories of past conflicts, leading us to react defensively. By becoming aware of these nuances within our being, we can begin to untangle the complex dynamics at play and respond instead with love and wisdom.

The Soul Guidance reading this week offers us one path that leads us away from disharmony, and toward a higher perspective and understanding of how we engage in conflict. We’re given permission to be vulnerable in this reading—an important aspect of our Soul’s growth. Vulnerability helps to open the door to deeper connections and understanding, inviting empathy and compassion into our interactions.

It’s a good one…hope you enjoy it!

watch the reading here


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