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Don’t Let Conflict Dim Your Light

By angela
August 30, 2023

When my girls were around five or six, our household was at a Level 10 on the Rowdy Scale. Between the twins and their teenage brother, trying to keep up with the daily (sometimes hourly!) squabbles felt like one long game of Chutes and Ladders.

Remember that game? You’d climb several levels up to the top, then right about the time your confidence settled in (Yes! …fist pump), you’d land on a chute and slide slide slide on dowwwn, losing most of your progress (and some of your dignity). Up, down, push, pull. Over and again.

At first, I tried to keep up with the Brawler Bunch. (Can we all just sidestep a sec and have a belly laugh at how I totally thought I was somehow leading these humans? LOL at the illusion of control! Ok, our little chuckle break is over—back to the story…)

When the girls would fight I’d step in and attempt to mediate to settle them down (again, LOL). One day, after a particularly raucous exchange between them, my youngest (Tina, twin #2) was left sobbing her little red eyes out. Indeed, I felt helpless. I kept talking to her, trying to help her put into words the reason she was so upset.

“What happened?” ~weeping~

“Did Luci hurt you?” ~bawling~

“Tell momma?”

She looked at me, even sadder than before and said, “I’m not done feeling it yet!” ~wailing~

Huge lightbulb moment. Whaaaaat? Do you mean I can’t magically Mom our way back to normal? There’s nothing I can do?

I just need to LEAVE HER ALONE??

In that moment, I pivoted. I’ll never forget that feeling of freedom, for me and for Tina. Step away, release, recover. She taught me a new level of allowing personal space. When she fought with Lucia (twin #1), she knew when to pull away to tend to her needs.

Though incredibly sad, Tina hadn’t lost touch with her own light in that moment. Her inner power held firm. And when Momma came hovering, her boundary was just as steady.

Later, after we were all friends again, I asked the girls why they fought so much. Lucia shrugged and said, “We’re sisters.”

Of course. What’re you gonna do? Control, indeed!

This week’s Soul Guidance Reading takes us through some ways to manage energies during conflict, starting with grounding into your light. Love!

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